Please, when you friend me on livejournal, if you could shoot me a message and let me know privately who you are and how you relate to my life (If you do) I'd be most appreciative, or if you're a friend of a friend. 
That would be lovely.
You see, unlike facebook, I totally reserve the right to grant certain people different people different access to my psyche and innermost thoughts here. (That's why I don't post anything other than random on facebook.)  There are some that only get the first level.  There are some that get access all the way down to level 4, just like in real life.  I can count on two hands the number of people I will unreservedly talk about ANYTHING in front of in person, and I'm not about to change that just because I'm spewing those thoughts on livejournal rather than vocalizing them.
That may seem unfair to some. 
Like I care.  My journal, my thoughts, my intellectual property (such as it is), my rules.

So...
First, I need to assure everyone reading this that this whole sortie was so not planned on our end.  Like any great idea, something got mentioned, the idea took root, sprouted like mint, and spread from there.
We just sort of instigated.

Next weekend, Aline, Alaric, Hans and I planned to go to Cracked Anvil in Smithkeepe.  We had been asked to teach a couple of times, and circumstances just happen to work themselves out and 'someday' ended up being sooner rather than later.
So I posted about heading South here on the ol' blog, and then Eleanor said she was going to be in town and would like to go, and Colin might enjoy it as well.  Of course, we couldn't leave out Sibilla or Anabela.  And then we found out that Mar and Andy were headed down that way.  Then I let Nick know that Eleanor was coming, and he got excited and said he'd do his best to be there too.  And then I invited the new couple, Elisaued and her husband, because she's just getting back in the SCA, and he's new to it all together, and it's a fairly close event for them.  And then Eleanor asked if we could find crash space for her apprentice, Catalina, so she could come down too.
Wow. 
So... I'm sure I'm probably leaving someone out, but I think that's everyone.  LOL

So now we get to the planning stages of this thing.
I will be bringing the two pop-up shade flies, and possibly the canvas one if I get it finished in time.  I'll also have ground covers.  You guys may want to bring folding chairs and covers for them.  I'll also have the 6 foot table for putting lunch on.
I don't believe that any of us were planning on feast (the only thing I know for sure about that is that Dante mentioned that his wife is cooking, and Andy's bringing the smoker for her to do the meat) but if you guys would like to do feast, let me know.  Or we could all just go out to eat on our way home for dinner.  Whatever is easier for the majority we'll go with.
At this time, lunch is going to consist of potluck style period-ish foods. 
I'm going to take:
venison and rice dolmas
plain rice dolmas
probably some meat-only dolmas for Alaric
stuffed dates (goat cheese and almond stuffed, wrapped with bacon)
stuffed apricots (I have to get rid of the almond paste that's been in my cabinets)
marinated mushrooms
tzatziki (because I LOVE the stuff)
I'll also bring an orange cooler... is everyone alright with lemonade?

Eleanor mentioned some pan bread and hummus... Are you gonna have time, or will I need to pick some up?
Either way is fine, just let me know.

Aline had planned to bring stuff, and I know we talked about possibilities, but I'll let her reply about that.

If anyone else wants to bring something, chime in and I'll add it to the list.

We do need to decide when we're leaving, and where we'll meet up if we caravan.  Any ideas or preferences?  I was thinking about leaving at 7:30 or 8, or is that too early?

Okay... I think that about covers it.  If anyone else can think of something I forgot, just holler.  And I'm cross-posting this to facebook, as well, just to make sure everyone sees it.

So this entry is a result of a conversation I had with the Hans.  We were discussing some project or another, and I made some comment about, "yeah, I've done that."  He replies, "I didn't know you had done that before.  You know, sometime you need to make a list of the stuff you've done just so I can keep track of it.  I bet you can't even remember all of it."
Okay... challenge accepted.
The following list is a compilation of crafts I have attempted, with varying degrees of success.  If a certain thing needs to be broken down into types of whatever, I'll list those as well.

Fiber stuff:
Needle felting, decent, basic stuff.  No 3-d animals or anything.  Being allergic to commercially processed wool sorta hinders further experimentation
Flat felting, pretty good.  Made some boots and a couple of hats. 
Processing wood, decent, which is how I managed to make my boots without breaking out in a rash
Spinning, OhdeargodwhatwasIthinkingsuckage, that whole allergy thing again
Dyeing, mid-level advanced, good.  Chemicals in my kitchen.  I can be dangerous.
Embroidery, mid-level advanced, good.  I like stitches like chain stitch and van dyke stitch.  Simple and quick
Or nue embroidery
Shisha embroidery
Cross-stitch
Latch-hook rug making
needlepoint
Quilting, strip piecing, patchwork and crazy quilting, applique  Decent.  I've actually completed 5 or so quilts.
Costuming (SCA, duh)
Fulling, like felting, only different.
Weaving, brocaded tablet weaving, double-faced tablet weaving, threaded in tablet weaving, inkle weaving  Pretty good, but I still want to learn Snartemo.  I understand the theory, I just want to get it down in practice.
Viking bobbin weaving (rope making, really).
Kumihimo, simple 8 strand stuff because it's bobbin weaving, basically.  With colors though.
Fingerweaving
punto in aria lacemaking.  Never again.  I gave the one thing I finished to my Laurel, who makes lace.
silk painting, which is a weird hybrid of watercolor painting and dyeing
fabric stamping
tie dyeing
fabric painting

Leather:
mugs
pouches
belts
tooling
dyeing  (Chemicals will be a recurring theme, just so you know.)
shoes
armor (yeah, really)
archery quiver
parchment making

Food-
feast cook for two events
church caterer for a year and a half
pastries
candy
subtleties  (These three things are the most fascinating for me)
canning
jellies/jams
Gardening for food
drying, preserving and smoking

Painting/fine art type stuff:
Calligraphy, Illumination
Portraiture
Miniatures
pastels
oils
goache
acrylics
water colors
linoleum printing
wood block printing
linoleum carving
nail art  (hey, some of those designs are INTRICATE)
metal etching
murals (I actually got paid for those)
tromp l'oiel
faux finishing
gold leafing- furniture, wood, plaster
pigment making
stencil making
woodworking- furniture, musical instruments
wood carving
soapstone carving
paper mache
miniature sculpting with fimo clay
quilling
silhouette cutting

So, it's late, I'm tired, and the list isn't done.
I'll list more tomorrow when I'm more awake.

It's been over three weeks since I posted anything privately, longer since I've done it publicly.  Not because I haven't been thinking things, or because interesting stuff hasn't been happening, but I really haven't had the time or the energy.
The shoulder is getting better a bit at a time, after numerous trips to the chiropractor.  The issue seems to be that the first cervical vertebrae, the c2, aka the "atlas" vertebrae (more on that name at another time... it's a post in and of itself), had gotten twisted.  The little nubbey bit on the back is supposed to sit perpendicular to the base of your skull... mine was cocked to the side by 15-20 degrees.  When it was put back in place, it did what that vertebrae has an annoying tendency to do... slip laterally to the side because the muscles couldn't hold it in place due to weakness.  So that had to be fixed.  But 6 weeks of pretty much constant irritation sort of takes the will to live out of you.  It's better, but not great.
Other things have been going on as well... my best friend from high school got in touch with me.  She and I had a long conversation about our lives, and the past... and once more, it was strange being told by someone how they viewed the person I was in high school (strong, in control, fearless) and how I felt constantly during that time (weak, powerless and totally afraid and out of control).  I still have those days when I feel that way.

And that brings me to something else.  I've been pretty vocal about my feelings about some of the stuff that gets posted on facebook.  I've gotten into what could be considered a few (uhm... six, in the past two weeks) of heated discussions, publicly and privately, about things people have said, or the way they've been said.  If I've been strident (okay, bitchy) about it, I apologize.  That wasn't my intent.  I could blame it on the pain, but that's pretty much bullsh*t.  So I'll attempt to explain what has been driving me to make the stands I have and say the things I have.
Facebook is not reality.  I think we can all agree on that point.  It's a collection of people we know or are familiar with who watch our lives and comments as voyeurs and occasionally comment on our posts, either with agreement or disagreement.  You are "rewarded" with likes and agreeing comments.    So kudos to you if people agree with your statements, and if they don't agree, most won't stand up and make a reply to you, because that's sort of the initial volley of the flame war.  And if you're not into internet drama, then you avoid that shit like the plague.
But have you ever heard of a concept in social psychology called deindividuation?  You may be familiar with the study Stanley Milgram ran that illustrated it... the one where a volunteer was given a button to "shock" another person based on the failure of that person to answer a question correctly.  The volunteer would continue to shock the other person with ever increasing voltage, up to 450 volts, until the person answering the question was writhing on the floor in supposed pain.  If the volunteer hesitated, then they were encouraged by the person running the study to continue with the shocks, even when there was the possibility that to do so would cause excruciating pain to the other individual.  The volunteers were told that it was a study of how pain increases memory.
That wasn't what the study was.  It was to study the effect of how far individuals were willing to hurt another person, to ignore the conscience inside themselves that told them what they were doing was wrong, if they they received the approval of another person to continue.  Something like 65% of people took the shocks all the way to the bitter end, and only one person refused to go past the point of the initial scream of pain at 300 volts, from the person they were shocking.  We, as humans, are fu*cking lemmings.  Don't even try to deny that.
In the wonderful werld ov tha intranets and the book of face, you can see how this idea translates.  You make a statement about a certain group.  Pick one, it doesn't matter which one.  You receive positive feedback.  Well, no one disagrees... so the next statement about that group is a little more severe... I mean, no one said anything the last time.  You accuse them en masse of holding views that reasonable people realize apply only to about 5-10 percent of that group.  More kudos.  Spurred by your example, other people in your friends circle begin making similar comments... but the comments get more vitriolic.  Oh, and let's throw in the fact that since your friends are all agreeing, anyone who dares say, "Okay, no, this isn't the way things are" gets the shit pounded out of them and categorized as either a traitor to the just and righteous cause or accused of being secretly one of the "out" group.  Because after all, you're all in agreement, and the cause is holy, so you MUST be right.  Or let's even say that someone objects, someone in your group, and then it becomes, "Well, we weren't talking about YOU in relation to the way those people are.  We all know you are MUCH more reasonable than those nuts, even though you have the poor taste to affiliate yourself with them."   
Uh huh.   
Because that's going to make those people you know that you have just categorized as evil inhuman beasts (oh, wait, not you...) feel so much better.
And hey... let's get to the part about the whole, "If you don't like what I'm saying about that group you can just scroll on past it and ignore it."  And how many problems or issues in this world have been created when people just stood by and let one group be demonized, because they didn't want to be involved or deal with it?  Lessee... the answer would be "many".  How many have been solved by name calling and hate?  Oh... wait... that would be none.
Here's the thing for me.  Name-calling is name-calling, no matter what your cause, be it left, right, democrat, republican, christian, pagan, atheist, straight-up middle of the road or outer fringes of what others call reality. 
And in true mother logic, I could really give a good goddamn who the hell started it, whether your group is repaying like with like (But they called US names first!) or your group is the instigator, or what your justification or excuse is.  It's still unacceptable.  Name calling begins when you have run out of supportive arguments for your position.  Or because you're intellectually lazy and can't be bothered to explain your position.
 
I care about my friends.  A lot.  And the one thing I am, whatever my other faults, is that I am one of the most loyal people in the world, up until I feel you have betrayed me, are a detriment to my life, or are intentionally hurting people I care about and being destructive. I will defend to the point of self-sacrifice if I think that you are being misjudged or mistreated by someone, even if that means I'm not the most popular person anymore with the majority.  Now, when you have friends on opposing sides of issues, and the name calling and ugliness starts based on bullsh*t, where does that leave me?  (Because I am the star of this movie, doncha know.)
I either ignore the things that are being said to degrade or marginalize people I care about (and we talked about ignoring crap earlier) or I say something to the person who is also my friend, and risk losing that friendship.  But my view of friendship is different than most.  If I do something stupid, my friends have permission to put a boot up my ass and bring it to my attention.  I may not be HAPPY about it, but I'm GRATEFUL for it.  Likewise, I expect the people I care about to look at the issues I bring to their attention. 
They don't have to agree with what I say, but I want it them to at least consider it.
I am tired of the deindividuation.  I am tired of people I care about being unkind.  I am tired of generalizations, I am tired of demonizing, I am tired of the hateful rhetoric.  I am tired of the negativity.  And looking away isn't an option.  Ignoring it isn't going to make it stop.  You, as my friends, can hold any freaking political or social position you want to hold.  But don't call the other people I care about names like "fundie", "pinko-pukes", or "republi-cunts" or "government-fed leeches".  Don't you dare.  Don't accuse the people I love of lacking compassion.  Don't accuse them of being lazy and stupid.
Disagree with the position.  Attack the idea or supporting arguments for a position.  But NOT the group as a whole, unless you have absolute, concrete proof that every person in that group has participated in, condones, or otherwise gave approval for whatever action you are accusing all of them of.
Because no matter what it costs me, I will defend my friends.  ALL OF MY FRIENDS... every one of you, until you prove yourself unworthy of my defense.  You know the other thing the Milgram study showed?  That if there was one person who stood up and said, "No, this goes no further" then people actually felt that they could stop the negative actions, that they could listen to their conscience and quit being a participant in destructive, hurtful behavior.  And it only took ONE standing up to give others the permission to do the same.

That the people least likely to give a flying flip about Jesus' teachings are the first to use Him as a political bludgeon on others?
Because, let's be honest, sanctimonious, self-righteous, judgmental pricks abound in every faith.
Including yours.

I sorta jacked up my shoulder, and it's been really wearing me down. 
When I am tense, I tighten up my shoulders... as my mom puts it, "looking like a dog getting ready to be beat".
And my life has been nothing if not stress-tastic lately.  Getting Mirabel's scroll done in two weeks by the skin of my teeth, no sleep, work stuff, kid stuff, and now getting a letter from the child-support enforcement agency tonight telling me that the IRS had executed a take back on the money that was paid out in the tax return, and that I have to repay the money that Arkansas had seized from the ex's taxes and given to me, to the tune of over a thousand dollars.  The up-side to that is that one of my payment options is to have the state withhold 25% of whatever monies the ex pays in support (HA!) until the debt is repaid.  My thinking is, "Okay guys.  You can have your money when I have mine," which translates loosely to "when hell freezes over".  And then wondering if that might be motivation for the state to be slightly more demanding when it comes to enforcing that court order thingy.
So... tension.  I has it.  And the pain is the kind that sorta makes you want to scream when someone touches my back.
I nearly slugged a coworker today who put her hand on my shoulder.  This is not a good plan for continued employment.  Plus, as bad as my shoulder hurt, it would have been pretty ineffective.
After a week of near unrelenting headaches, tingling in my back, not being able to push, pull, lift, carry, bend my arm, lift my arm, type, write, paint or, ya know, move without pain, I broke down and got a steroid shot today.
Not really helping.  I have too much to do to not just suck it up and deal. 
I have another project that's time-sensitive.  I won't allow myself to NOT get it done.
I have to be at work, one of my co-workers is on vacation for a week, and I won't leave the new girl to deal with 80-some-odd people a day alone.
Business meeting tomorrow night.

I have, however, come to a conclusion.  I don't deal with chronic pain well.  This is why I have been mostly absent from, well, everything.  Focus through the pain, get done what you have to do, and then collapse, cry and sleep.  But not until I get stuff finished.  Heal later.  I can't focus and ignore it when I'm around people, because I'm bitchy when I hurt.  And people distract me and I lose focus.  I get surly, too.
I know that's not healthy, either mentally or physically.  I can do anything for two weeks, though, damn it.
Part of me wonders if I don't have that warped masochistic personality that actually, if not enjoys pain, at least feels like they deserve it in some way, and embraces it in some twisted fashion.  I gotta think that this is partially the case.  I guess I see some sort of karmic balance in pain.  Other people don't deserve it, I hate it when the people I love are in pain.  I can empathize and sympathize.  But me?  Worry about it later.  Quit whining, because you sound like a GIRL.  And you're weak if you can't push through.
Yes, I'm sitting here drinking.  Fu-ki cherry wine, which tastes like cherry tootsie roll pops.  Try it.  Very sweet, and goes right to my head.  Wonderful stuff.
I will be okay.  No, really.  I'm not typing this for pity.  I'm just thinking that there has to be something that I'm meant to learn here in this situation.  I just need to figure out what that is.  And if you say something maudlin like "You need to learn to be nice to yourself, you don't have to do it all", as true as that may be, I might actually try to slap you on principal.
When I can lift my arm again.  :-P 

So... I hate Valentine's Day.  Really.  And I hate dopey love songs.  But there are songs that literally make me want to put an ice pick in my ear and twirl it.  And we all know that I can't hate something without opening up and disgorging the vitriol I have stored up in my soul for those things.  And it's Valentine's Day, and what better way to celebrate cynicism and despair than sharing with friends?
Plus, I feel really guilty about the fact I haven't posted in a while, and this might make up for part of it.
Pour a glass of wine, light some candles, and let's celebrate the fact that WE, at least, recognize what utter crap music gets shilled to teenagers by music companies pandering to teen angst. 
These are in no particular order, I'm just writing them as I thought of them.  And if you're wondering where my encyclopedic knowledge of junk tunes comes from, keep in mind I spent most of my tween and teen years locked in my bedroom  wallowing in despair and listening to the radio, like any self-respecting put upon member of an oppressed generation.
If you haven't heard these, google 'em.

• Tell Laura I Love Her, Ray Peterson  Boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love, boy wants to buy girl a ring, so enters a drag race, and dies in a hunk of twisted metal.  This is the song that helped kick start the whole "teen tragedy" genre.   (And as a warning, all of these songs I'm listing deal with death.  Nothing says "I love you" like dying, don't you know.)
• Last Kiss, Wayne Cochran and the CC Riders  Pearl Jam resurrected this tune that could have stayed buried for all I care.  Boy and girl go out on a date, boy rear ends another car, girl dies horribly.
• Teen Angel, Mark Denning  The other version of Last Kiss... Boy and girl go out on a date, boy's car stalls out on train tracks, Darwin award winning girlfriend goes back into the car for class ring, and dies horribly.  My dad used to sing this song to me when I was little.  It explains a lot about our relationship.
• Leader of the Pack, Shangri-las  HEY... finally the girl gets to live and the BOY dies horribly.  I ended up feeling horribly betrayed when Twisted Sister re-recorded this... I mean, I can handle blue eyeshadow and hot pink blush, but that recording was the ultimate Judas-kiss to their fans.  Like the boy in the song, Twisted Sister's career didn't couldn't survive this song either.
• Leah, Roy Orbison  A pearl diver goes out to get some pearls for his girl.  He gets his foot caught, and dies with lungs full of saltwater.  First, I wanna know, how good of a pearl diver could he be if he gets his foot caught and drowns?  Do pearl divers have an amateur hour?  This song also lacks the fiery and gasoline soaked dramas of the others, but it makes up for it by using a nice, tropical setting.

As a side note.... You know when your mom and dad and parents used to gripe about how depressing and morbid your music was, how focused on sadness and death?  Yeah, their stuff was so much more upbeat.

• Gotta Get A Message To You, Bee Gees  The BeeGees, before they were the driving force behind Travolta in a white disco suit.  (I will forgive them for that, eventually.)  A departure from the by-now standard death of one of the loving couple, this song is written by a convict to his love... Oh, and did I forget to mention that lover-boy is a murderer and only has an hour to live before they take him to the gas-chamber?  I'm assuming he's trying to apologize for ruining her life by leaving her with the lasting memory of having dated a death row inmate before he was on death row, and causing her to constantly question her judgement in men.  Forever.  40 years after this song was released, I'm sure she's still in therapy.
• El Paso, Marty Robins  A gunslinger falls for a bar fly (or lounge lizard, if you prefer) in the Wild Wild West, catches her with another man, shoots dude #2, and heads out into the dessert with a Texas Posse on his trail.  Finding he can't live without his two-timing sweet-heart, he returns to see her one last time, is shot down (it is Texas, after all) and dies lying in his lover's arms.  This song was actually the first Country song to ever win a Grammy, which means that blood and death are two themes that are universally appealing, across red and blue states.  It was so popular, in fact, it inspired a sequel, Feleena, which was the same story, but told from the female's point of view.  That song also sucks.
• Continuing the gun-themed death trend, we have Run Joey Run, David Geddes.  This song actually has a moral of sorts.  Boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love.  Father of girl does not approve...  Boy gets girl knocked up, or, to use the early 70's euphemism, gets her "in trouble".  Girl tries to warn boy that Poppa is WAY beyond preaching, and is in fact, pissed and packin'.  In the middle of this ever so stirring dialogue, Daddy shows up and tries to shoot boy, and instead, shoots his pregnant daughter by mistake.  She dies in the arms of her lover.  The moral?  As I explained to Victoria, it's "If your Dad disapproves, it's because he knows that the boy is trying to get in your pants, because he used to be 17 too.  And if you let him, your dad is gonna kill you."  Lesson learned.
• Running Bear, Joey Preston revisits the water themed death, as well as pays homage to the Native Americans, because after all, they probably have teen angst too.  Running Bear falls in love with White Dove, who is from another tribe across the river.  The parents do not approve (I'm sensing a theme here) and forbids their love.  They decide to swim the river to meet in the middle... which they accomplish, only to drown together, no doubt exhausted from the burden of being misunderstood.
• How can we have a song about Indians without a song written about a  soldier?  That would be Galveston, Glen Campbell.  No one dies that we know of in this song, but how he managed to pack all of that whining emotion into 14 lines of lyrics, minus the repeats, I'll never know.
• Hey Joe, Jimi Hendrix  Proof that even hippies get a homicidal drug fueled groove goin' on every once in a while.
• Ode to Billie Joe, Bobbi Gentry-  O. M. G.... one of the creepiest, weirdest songs ever.  WHAT THE HELL DID THEY THROW OFF THE TALAHATCHIE BRIDGE?  Why did Billie Joe commit suicide?  This song sticks in your head like a tale by Edgar Allan Poe... and not in a good way, either.
• Copacabana, Barry Manilow A peppy, up-tempo song that hides the fact that it's the story of the creepy cat lady who's sitting at the end of the bar, reliving her glory days after losing the love of her life (and we're never really sure which one that was, Rico or Tony) sends her into a downward spiral of guilt, alcohol, and feathers.

So that's it... My Valentine's Never Play list.  I could have included a bunch of others, like "Patches" by Dickie Lee or "He Stopped Loving Her Today", by George Jones or even "Blood and Roses" by the Smithereens... and hey, "Girlfriend in a Coma" by The Smiths is pretty much a gimme.  But there's only so much I can take before my ears start to bleed, you know?

I have hit the point in my Monday when mass murder is seeming more and more like a viable option.

So, I was thinking...
How much trouble do you think I'd get in if I made up some "Annoying Peer" bingo cards for the Peer's retreat?  At least a level one banishment, right?
:-P